I feel like flipping the bird to a bird would most certainly be a compliment idk

Look, I’m just saying—if someone flipped me the bird, I’d take it personally. It’s a well-established insult, a universal sign of disrespect. But if you flip the bird to an actual bird? I feel like that’s basically just speaking its language.

Think about it. Birds don’t follow human rules. They scream at sunrise, steal food, and dive-bomb people for fun. They’re feathered agents of chaos. If I flip the bird to a pigeon, what’s it going to do? Get offended? File a complaint? No. It’s probably just going to stare at me blankly, peck the ground, and continue whatever bird business it was up to before I rudely interrupted it.

But let’s go deeper. What if the bird understood?

Imagine locking eyes with a crow. You flip it off, and instead of flying away, it tilts its head slightly, as if considering what just happened. Then, in a shocking display of intelligence, it casually lifts one claw in return, as if to say, Right back at ya, buddy.

That’s not an insult—that’s respect. A mutual exchange between two creatures who acknowledge each other’s existence in the most primal way possible.

And if we’re being really honest, birds are already out here flipping us off all the time. How? Oh, I don’t know—maybe by pooping on our cars, stealing our fries, and screaming outside our windows at 5 AM for no reason. That’s their version of a middle finger. A little “screw you” from nature.

So, if I flip a bird to a bird, am I not just leveling the playing field? Giving them a taste of their own medicine?

But let’s take it a step further—what about different types of birds?

Pigeons – They wouldn’t care. They operate on pure survival instinct and urban apathy. Flip one off, and it’ll just waddle away, plotting how to trip you on the sidewalk later.
Crows/Ravens – They’d remember. Oh, they’d remember. And probably tell their friends. You might wake up to a murder of crows sitting outside your house, watching. Waiting.
Seagulls – They’d pretend to be offended, then steal your sandwich and laugh about it.
Hawks/Eagles – Flip one of these off? You better run. You just disrespected an apex predator. They don’t do petty—only revenge.
Owls – They’d just blink at you slowly, like “Okay, but why?” and go back to plotting their mysterious owl business.

So, full disclosure: I genuinely think that flipping the bird to a bird is a compliment. A sign that we, as humans, recognize their power and unpredictable nature. It’s not an insult—it’s a nod of mutual respect.

Or maybe I’m overthinking this, and the bird just sees my hand as a weirdly shaped bread crumb.

Either way, I’m willing to test it out.