Look, I’m not saying people can’t round their numbers a little on a dating profile. I get it. You want to put your best foot forward. Maybe shave off a few pounds, maybe bump up your height by an inch or two—that’s just the game.
But some people take “adjusting the truth” to a whole new level.
So here I am, scrolling through dating profiles, minding my own business, when I come across her. Let’s call her Ashley.
Ashley’s profile says she weighs 108 pounds. Cool, whatever. I’m not out here scrutinizing numbers, but when we finally meet in person… I immediately knew the math wasn’t mathing.
The Art of the Catfish
Now, before anyone gets all defensive, this isn’t about weight-shaming. It’s about false advertising. If you’re going to list numbers that aren’t even remotely close to reality, that’s called catfishing—and at that point, what else are you lying about?
Her profile picture? Expertly angled. Probably taken three years ago, under the perfect lighting, after two hours of filtering. Her bio? Full of half-truths—like the fact that she’s an “avid gym-goer,” but when I brought up working out, she said, “Ugh, I hate sweating.”
But the weight thing? That’s what really got me. Because 108 pounds? Where? On which planet? In which dimension?
If NASA ever needs help manipulating gravity, they should hire her because she managed to defy all known physics.
Why Do People Do This?
Look, we all want to present the best version of ourselves. But at what point does it cross the line from “enhancing” to straight-up catfishing?
- Filters? Fine, we all use them.
- A slightly older profile picture? A little misleading, but understandable.
- Shaving a couple pounds off the weight? Happens all the time.
But if you’re out here listing stats from a completely different body type, you’re not just tweaking reality—you’re writing a whole new fanfiction.
The Moment of Realization
So there I was, trying to process the situation without being rude. I wasn’t about to bring up the weight thing directly, but she must have seen something in my face because she immediately hit me with:
“Oh, haha, I haven’t updated my profile in a while. I used to be 108!”
Ma’am. USED TO BE?!
That’s like me saying I’m 6’5 because I used to stand on my kitchen counter.
At that point, I just smiled, nodded, and let it go. Because honestly? If you have to lie that hard on your dating profile, maybe the real issue isn’t the number—it’s the confidence.
Moral of the Story?
Just be real. If you’re not 108 pounds, own it. If you’re not 6’2, own it. If your best picture is from 2016, take a new one. Because at the end of the day, the goal isn’t to trick someone into liking you—it’s to find someone who likes you for who you actually are.
And trust me, gravity always wins. 😂
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